“ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” (Galatians 5:15, ESV)
In 1847, Ignaz Semmelweis, M.D., observed a disturbing trend. New mothers were dying of fever at an alarming rate at a maternity clinic in Vienna. Semmelweis discovered that prior to delivery, doctors were not washing their hands. The doctor hypothesized these obstetricians were spreading foreign bodies to the mothers.
Dr. Semmelweis believed if he could halt the route of transmission, he would stop the spread of the fever. So, Semmelweis developed a series of disinfection procedures that included the doctors washing their hands with chlorine. Once these measures were put into place, the rate of death among mothers in childbirth declined dramatically.
Yet as the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. Ignaz Semmelweis’ technique was rejected by most doctors. Many felt insulted because they now were required to wash their hands. Eventually, the continual criticism and badgering from his colleagues led Semmelweis to a nervous breakdown that placed him in a mental asylum where he sadly died.
Such can be the effects of toxic criticism. Paul the Apostle warned Christians about the negative impact that criticism can have on others. Paul wanted to avoid the harmful practice of chewing people up and spitting them out.
Criticizing someone is different from critiquing that person’s words or behavior. Criticism involves a personal attack against an individual’s character. The intent is to demean and undermine the other person’s sense of self.
By contrast, stands constructive criticism. Critiquing an individual is a valuable tool that can help the person learn and grow. Critical feedback can empower others to succeed at school, in the workplace, and throughout life in general.
When evaluating the words and actions of others, I find it helpful to ask two questions first:
Is what I am about to say true, helpful, and actionable?
The difference between toxic criticism and a critical assessment depends upon your goal. Do I want the best for this person or do I wish them to feel worse about themselves?
Our nation’s twenty-sixth president, Teddy Roosevelt, once said:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points
out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of
deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs
to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is
marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives
valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again;
because there is no effort without error and
shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the
deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great
devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who
at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high
achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least
he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall
never be with those cold and timid souls who know
neither victory nor defeat.