Marital therapists, Les and Leslie Parrott, claim that scorekeeping is for sports, not for marriage. Couples who aren’t playing on the same team are headed for conflict. Husbands and wives who expect to maintain a fifty-fifty balance of responsibilities in their household set themselves up for disappointment and discord.

          The Scripture cited above offers a commentary about the universal unfairness of life. Not everyone around the dinner table receives an equal size of the pie. Some are afforded larger portions, while others are given a smaller share.

          During the early years of our marriage, I was attending seminary and serving part-time as a student pastor. My financial contribution to our household income was significantly less than the money my wife was bringing home. Once we had children, Cathy decided to bypass her career and raise our kids. Doing so meant that she would abandon her professional aspirations, as I was free to pursue my own dreams. Nothing about these arrangements was fair.

          Yet Cathy and I decided early on in our marriage to be teammates rather than opponents. Fairness was not our goal. We focused our energies instead on fulfilling one another’s needs. For example, I often stayed home with our children so that my wife might go for a run, eat dinner with friends, or have time to read a book.

          We knew this season of imbalance would not last forever. Eventually, I was able to pick up more responsibilities at home, while giving Cathy greater opportunity to pursue her personal interests. Our marriage arrangement hasn’t always been fair yet expecting it not to be so has made it possible for us to live happily ever after.

          So, rather than keeping score, my advice is that you keep foremost in mind your spouse’s needs. Doing so will prevent either of you from devouring one another like lions. It may also lead you each to roar with delight!