Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing” (1 Peter 3:9, NLT).

     In their book The Power of Moments, Chip and Dan Heath describe an experiment in which participants underwent three painful trials. In the first, they submerged a hand for sixty seconds in a bucket filled with frigid, 57-degree water.

In the second trial, the time was increased by thirty seconds. For the first 60 seconds, the water was still 57 degrees. But in the final 30 seconds, it was raised to 59 degrees. In neither trial were participants told how long the experiment would last.

     Before their third and final bucket, they were asked if they’d prefer to repeat the first or second experiment. A whopping 69% chose the longer trial! The question is why? Psychologists claim it’s because when people assess an experience, they rate the experience based on its best or worst part (that is, the peak) and the ending. They call it the “peak-end rule.”

     When it comes to interpersonal encounters, people will tend to remember you for when you were at your best, or worst, and for the way you were in the end. Of course, it is impossible for any of us to always be at our best. Our worst selves will sometimes slip out, no matter how hard we try to hide them.

     This reality is especially true when someone offends us. Our knee-jerk response is to retaliate in kind. In an effort to get the last word in or throw the final punch, we are inclined to escalate the conflict. “If I get hit, then I am going to hit back harder.” This is one reason why Peter encourages every follower of Christ to repay an insult with a blessing. In God’s eyes, how we end the conflict becomes more important than how the conflict began in the first place.

     The good news is that the ending is something we can better control. Knowing that it’s the end, we can devote more time and attention to getting it right. It has been said that none of us gets a second chance to make a good first impression. However, many of us are often given a chance to leave a positive impression by ending well.

     Just ask the people who held their hands under water for that extra thirty seconds of time. Their warmer experience gave rise to fonder memories. All of which leads me to conclude that how the saga ends is more critical than how the situation started.