“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” (Proverbs 27:5-6, NIV).
I Facebook messaged a friend the other day with whom I hadn’t connected with in several years. He remarked that he was shocked to see how much hair I had lost. I responded by telling him that I wasn’t shocked whatsoever that he hadn’t lost his panache for candor.
I like honesty, particularly when it’s not aimed at me. You chuckle but I know I’m not alone. Our culture has a great disdain for looking hard at itself in the mirror. We are taught that love overlooks a multitude of sins.
This sentiment is contrary to the gospel that Jesus taught. Jesus always loved the sinner but confronted the sin. Unconditional love keeps in mind the best interest of the other person. For Jesus, pointing out one’s iniquity was often the most loving thing to do.
Receiving criticism is not an easy task yet it is the best medicine for a sick soul or an ill-conceived decision. Proverbs 27:5-6 state, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” (NIV).
I once heard that we often fail one another by withholding the final ten percent of our thoughts. We are happy to share a compliment or a word of encouragement but to offer critical feedback is risky business. We fear that we will do irreparable damage to our relationship with that person. Yet, withholding a difficult message from those closest to you may do more damage in the long run—to the other person, as well as to your relationship with that person.
I would offer, however, a note of caution before sharing hard-to-hear information. Don’t be hasty. Pray before you speak. Ask God’s Spirit to grant you the right words and always present your concern with genuine compassion. Words can cut but if presented the right way, words can also promote healing.
Speaking of cutting, my barber recently told me that I have the nicest head of hair she has seen in quite a while. I responded in gratitude by saying, “Thanks, I treat both of them with great care.”