An agreement was reached. Jacob consented to marry Leah and her sister. But things were just about to get really complicated. The Scripture claims that Jacob loved Rachel more than he did Leah. Remember, Rachel is a supermodel. Rachel was Jacob’s fantasy come to life. Leah, however, did not live up to Jacob’s fantastical expectations. This is the point at which Jacob’s marriage to Leah (his first wife) began to jump the tracks.

     One of the greatest mistakes I see couples make is that of comparing their mate to a fantasy. Here’s the problem. Real people make lousy fantasies. Even if the fantasized person is a real person, the fantasy of being with that person is far from the reality of what that person is actually like. And making comparisons with fantasy is the very thing that inhibits a person’s ability to love the one they’re with. Here’s the reality: Either your ideal fantasy dies, or the real relationship dies.

     Perfect love can exist only with a less-than-perfect person. That’s because the world contains no other kind. The fantasy of finding that perfect person is just that—a fantasy. A relationship is a connection to a real person, just as she or he is. Real love is found with people who possess qualities of both goodness and badness, beauty and imperfection.

     Now, I realize that you could always look at your lover and see someone else who is better in some other way. But, if you were married to this other person you would inevitably come to recognize his presently invisible flaws, too. Your fantasy bubble would pop, and soon you’d be comparing this new person’s flaws to someone else’s perceived perfection. Unrealized fantasies are the primary reason why sixty-six percent of second and third marriages end in divorce. So, right now, crumple up your fantasies and throw away your ideals.

     I believe this is the action that Jacob eventually took. Jacob threw away his fantasies, and in the end, that singular action wound up saving his marriage with Leah. Over time, love began to grow between Jacob and Leah. During a family trip, Rachel gave birth to a son, yet Rachel died. Death during childbirth was not uncommon among women in that day. But the Scripture claims that Jacob buried Rachel’s body by the side of the road.

     However, when Leah died years later, Jacob had Leah’s body placed in the family plot next to his mother and father. This burial site was a place of honor. It was the place where Jacob’s body would eventually be put to rest.

     More significantly, it is through Leah’s descendants that Jesus, the Messiah, came into being. Think about that turn of events. Here was a less-than-ideally attractive woman who was rejected initially by her husband. Yet, the marriage that had initially started so badly ended fabulously. Bad beginnings aren’t always great predictors of tragic endings.

     Marriage (in fact, any relationship) can finish strong when Jesus is invited to heal and renew. Jesus offers what every relationship needs. Grace. Unmerited favor. Undeserved love. No marriage or relationship can survive without it.