“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other” (John 15:16-17, NIV).
Years ago, a friend of mine participated in a mission trip to the Republic of Haiti. One day, Rick was sitting on a bench beneath a tree. A young Haitian boy took a seat next to Rick. Rick fascinated the boy. He had never met an American.
Rick explained that he had traveled over a thousand miles to the island. The boy was curious as to why Rick would do such a thing. Rick simply replied, “I came here to be with you.”
Author, John Trent, wrote a wonderful children’s book entitled, “I’d Choose You”. Dr. Trent believes that the assurance that one is wanted is the most powerful message a parent can convey to a child. Trent’s claim aligns with the very thing Jesus has done for each of us. Jesus chose us. In fact, Jesus loves us so much that he preferred to die than to live apart from us.
Even when we were at our worst, Jesus chose to give us his best of himself. This belief is at the center of our faith. Sin has a built-in payment plan. God made the first move to restore the relationship we had broken. Likewise, God commands that parents restore the damage to the relationship inflicted by our children.
Anytime a child disrespects or disobeys his parents, a sacred trust has been broken. The relationship is strained and in some instances broken. But it is up to us as parents to make the first move toward restoration.
Let me provide you with an example. When my youngest son was a preteenager, he disregarded my wife’s edict not to throw things in the house. Garrett threw one of his toys at his sister and broke a vase that was given to my wife by her grandmother. Garrett told his mother that a broken vase was no big deal. His words only served to anger and inflict more emotional pain on
his mother.
Cathy’s response was to send Garrett to his room and shut the door. Doing so only seemed to incite Garrett’s frustration. But my wife realized that by punishing Garrett in this manner she was doing little to reconcile their stressed relationship. So, Cathy brought the vase and a bottle of Super Glue into Garrett’s room. She sat on the floor next to him and asked, “How can we fix this?”
Cathy’s move toward Garrett did more than simply repair the vase. Cathy’s choice to enlist our son’s help confirmed for Garrett that their relationship was more valuable to her than any precious heirloom. Love had rebuild a broken bridge.
Parents, your children are looking to you for guidance. Your goal should never stop at punishing them. Punishment alone is a means of retribution but falls shy of reconciliation
The ultimate aim is to help your kids repair the relational damage they have caused. This is the path that leads to restoration. This is the choice that love makes.