“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’   But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also” (Matthew 5:38-39, NLT).

     It’s not hard to figure out what Jesus is saying in the first few verses. Don’t strike back. Don’t verbally counter-assault your enemy. Don’t exchange one level of harm for another. Most of us get that. What many people struggle with, however, is whether Jesus extending this teaching to say, “Don’t retaliate, just let the other person roll all over you. Let them hit you on the right cheek, then let that same person hit you, again, on the left”.

     Many Christians believe that Jesus is teaching his people to be doormats. If this is true, then must a woman who is verbally or physically abused by her husband remain a victim in her own household? Should a student who is bullied simply grin and bear the cruelty? Would Jesus be so cruel as to condone such things?

     In Jesus’ day, there were some cultural norms that are foreign to us today. First, only people of equal status struck each other on the face with their fists. A soldier, for example, would only strike another soldier on the cheek with his fist. Second, if you did strike someone on the cheek, you used only your right hand. The left hand only was used by the Hebrew people to touch unclean things. So, if you struck someone with your right fist, you could only hit them on the left cheek.

     However, when a person with greater power would strike a person of lesser power, he would use the back of his right hand. Hitting someone with the back of your hand was not an attempt to injure that person, but to humiliate him. A master, for example, would strike his slave with the back of his right hand, thereby landing the blow on the slave’s right cheek. This was the master’s way of insulting the slave.

     Understanding this cultural practice, Jesus then tells his people to turn the other cheek, the left cheek. In doing so, Jesus isn’t asking his followers to be someone else’s punching bag. Again, being struck on the left cheek can occur only between people of equal status. So, turning the left cheek is Jesus’ non-violent way of saying, “Hey, I’m not your lackey, nor am I inferior to you. I’m not going to just sit by and allow you to abuse and affront me.”

     This is not the way of retaliation nor is it the way of pacifism. It is not the way of getting back at those who harm you, but neither is it the way of permitting others to repeatedly inflict harm on you. This is what I call the Middle Way‒‒the Jesus way.

     Let me give you an idea of what the Middle Way can look like. When my daughter Courtney was fourteen, my wife, Cathy, found a pile of garbage in one of her flowerpots outside our home. Shortly after this discovery, my daughter, Courtney, received a text message from two acquaintances that said, “Did you find the presents we gave you?” Dumping the trash into the flower basket was their effort of showing Courtney contempt.

     Now, at that point Courtney had some options open to her. Court could have retaliated against these girls with some harsh words of her own. Or she could have rolled over, cried, and taken this attempt to slight her much too personally. But rather than choosing to fight back or shrink away, Court instead texted these girls with this message: “Your actions didn’t harm me. If anyone has been hurt, it is my mom. You dumped your trash into her flower basket. And she’s not feeling very good about you right now.”

     The neat thing about the way Courtney chose to handle this matter is that one of the girls offered a sincere apology, both to my daughter and my wife. In the end, this girl’s soul was cleansed and a friendship was saved. This is the Middle Way.

     The truth is Jesus doesn’t want you to exchange harm with your enemies, but neither does Jesus ask that you allow your enemies to harm you over and over again. Psalm 139 declares that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). You are of such value to God that He sent His son to die on the cross; so that the specter of sin and death would no longer bring harm upon you. The last thing Jesus wants is to see your jaw broken, your hopes crushed, or your value cheapened. His aim is to show you a different way. His way. The Middle Way.