“Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to grow angry” (James 1:19, CEB).

     In 1325, the Italian cities of Bologna and Modena engaged in a war that started over a wooden bucket that allegedly had been stolen. Italy had not become, as yet a unified country. The region was divided into various city-states that governed themselves independently.

     Bologna and Modena were two such autonomous bodies that were on opposite sides of the political aisle. Bologna was loyal to the papacy in Rome at that time, while Modena supported the self-appointed Holy Roman Emperor, Frederick Barbarossa of Germany. Skirmishes between the two entities had occurred off and on over the previous two centuries.

     However, the tension between Bologna and Modena piqued when the Bolognese wrongly concluded that a wooden bucket from the town’s central well was stolen by Modenese bandits. The previous rift between the two cities eventually led to what is known as the War of the Bucket. Ironically, the bucket actually wasn’t stolen until well after the fighting had concluded.

     I have wondered how often such conflicts between individuals and groups have begun under similar false pretexts. A dispute erupts based on misunderstanding or a misrepresentation of the facts. Both sides vehemently argue that they each have suffered an egregious injustice.

     Most of us dislike discord. We avoid it at every turn if possible. However, I learned many years ago that conflict is a necessary step for two factions to grow closer in relationship to one another. Husbands and wives often develop greater levels of intimacy as they negotiate their way through disagreements. The same process holds true for friendships, coworkers, work unions, and the like.

     Yet the formula for success in such negotiations depends upon each party agreeing to a few critical ground rules. James, the leader of the church in Jerusalem, understood that clashes between people are inevitable. So, James put into place a set of rules to help guide disaffected parties successfully reach a mutual understanding:

           Be quick to listen.

           Be slow to speak.

           Be slow to grow angry.

These directives, though challenging to implement, are not only the surest ways to reach a resolution but are the most reliable means of strengthening relational bonds.

     So, the next time you accuse someone of stealing your wooden pail. Think before you speak. Listen before you point an accusing finger. Give the other person the benefit of a doubt before you jump to a conclusion. Because who knows, the bucket you kick may save each of you from falling into the well of regret.

This is reportedly the very bucket that Modenese soldiers eventually swiped from a well in Bologna in 1325.